The Elephant in the Living Room: Part 2

(Part 1 of The Elephant in the Living Room can be found here)

In Regnum Christi (RC), I knew I was missing something, but I didn’t know what, except that perhaps God was calling us to another movement or mission within the Church.  There were just so many mysteries, silence, and tranquil smiles…

RC had taught me how to look at everything as a positive ‘case study.’  In pretty much everything, we could find Christ.  I was also taught not to criticize and I was taught to make excuses for people I felt tempted to judge.  I wanted so badly to adopt these attitudes that they became etched in my heart as the way I MUST be in order to become holy.  But during our difficult year, I started losing the energy to be so positive, to make everything into something that “Christ was asking of me” and that as a woman of the Kingdom I should accept gracefully.  I was losing gracefulness as life started beating us up, and I started crying out spiritually… I felt abandoned, desolate, on the brink of despair, and I just couldn’t make any of it sound cheerful, which others more experienced in RC seemed to have a knack for doing.  I felt like a real loser, and I felt that it must mean I lacked in holiness.

Near the end of 2008, after much thinking and praying and having begun the road to financial recovery in our family, my hubby and I came to the conclusion that we were lacking peace about being members of RC, and that this was a sign that God was calling us elsewhere.  We didn’t take it to mean that there was something wrong with RC, only that we weren’t a right fit anymore.  And so we started to look into another movement that focussed on sanctity of life mission work.  We used 2009 as a time of discernment for where God was calling us, or IF He was calling us, into any particular mission within the Church.

As we stepped more officially away from RC, and moved to a very devout Catholic parish, things started to appear more clear to me about RC, and I started noticing little facets of the movement that didn’t sit right with me.  But nothing seemed groundbreaking, or even a big deal, and I chalked it up to my personal preference…

I would never have left the movement if it had been my choice and circumstances hadn’t prevented me from being involved.  In fact, even though I wasn’t attending the prayer meetings, it was not easy to detach my heart and mind from what had become my way of life.  There were certain facets of the movement that had become ingrained in me, and for a reason I couldn’t quite identify, I felt I was sinning if I didn’t practise certain ideals that I was taught.  Even ‘leaving’ felt like a sin because I had made ‘promises’ in a ceremony to God Himself that I would be faithful to the movement for life.  Was I cheating on God?  Was I abandoning Him?  Was I a major lazy slacker?  I didn’t quite know… and always had a little doubt in my mind as to whether I had made the right decision, even though I didn’t feel at peace staying in the movement either.  I was confused…

And then, in 2009, the news of Fr. Maciel’s scandalous behavior, the founder of Regnum Christi, was released to the lay people.

I thought I had moved past RC, for the most part.  I thought I was an outsider… but it turns out I wasn’t.  I was angry at the news.  Hurt.  Betrayed.  Bewildered.  And I knew I had to drive the long drive into town, early in the morning, to meet with my dear sisters and support them in this horrible trial.

What I discovered was a mixture of reactions, which is to be expected of any group of people, considering different personalities and pain thresholds.  But I did encounter one reaction more common than my own… that ‘tranquil peace’, the ‘joy’, the gratefulness that Fr. Maciel was also a sinner like the rest of us… the ‘let’s move on’ attitude, especially from our suffering priest leaders…

My reaction then turned to shock.  Having been actively away from the movement for over a year, I could not believe what I was hearing, and I discerned that truly, what didn’t sit right with me was not a matter of personal preference.  It was the belief in an ideal that sacrificed the intellect;  that asked us to continue down a road when we had been lied to by the founder of our group and his cohorts… grave lies and deception, and that we were supposed to believe that our remaining associated with the founder and his movement would bear good fruit, and we were supposed to gloss over it, move on, and simply focus on Christ.

Don’t get me wrong… there has been tremendous good fruit borne from people in Regnum Christi.  I myself grew spiritually while I was part of the movement. There are amazing RC apostolates that continue to help build up Christ’s people and His Church…   But I believe these good fruits do not spring from Fr. Maciel or even the Regnum Christi movement iteself.  They spring from the goodness of God and His Church, and the holy people that would be responding to Him no matter what movement they are a part of.

Since the recent scandals have been released in the past couple of months, I know now that God was protecting us, that He knew because we were going through such a difficult personal time, we didn’t need added burdens, and our pain was lessened last year and this year as the scandal news broke.  We had already ‘moved on’… not from the beautiful people within the movement, but from the movement itself that was founded and associated with Fr. Maciel in any way.  We are quite simply members of the Catholic Church, which was founded by Christ, Who is perfect.

I have heard some compare Fr. Maciel to King David who committed grave sins, or St. Peter who denied Christ.  But I don’t think those comparisons are accurate.  Both of these Saints repented publically, in Scripture, for all to see, and amended their life.  I compare Fr. Maciel to Judas.  Judas must have been an amazing man… he was picked as one of the Twelve, by Christ, and even the apostles didn’t realize he would be the betrayer at the Last Supper. Judas was brilliant with money and brilliant at deceiving even the other apostles and disciples, and he had influence over the top religious leaders: the Pharisees.  He did have remorse for his sin… but did not repent, and committed the ultimate sin against the Holy Spirit and took his life.  Satan had entered his heart, no matter how brilliant he may have been… and his name is etched in Scriptures as ‘the betrayer.’

There is no way to make Judas look good, or gloss over his sin.  We should never start a group imitating Judas or claiming him as our leader, or associating with anything even related to him.  BUT… God used this sin of Judas to redeem the world… not because we should have ANYTHING to do with Judas, but because God is so infinitely good and omnipotent.  God did not inspire Judas’ sin, anymore than I believe God inspired Fr. Maciel to found an order.  But God has, and will, bring good out of this man’s grave sins.

It grieves me to write this, as I know there are some whom I love who may not like these words, and may feel I am being uncharitable or that I am joining in on the bandwagon of criticism.  I am terribly imperfect, and these are just my thoughts, but I am sharing them not to hurt ANYONE… but rather to say, the elephant has been exposed, and elephants are elephants, no matter how attractive we want to make them.  To deny the elephant is to sacrifice our God-given intellect, and that is a sign that we may have fallen under the influence of someone or something with power over our mind, however minor, and that is a dangerous place to go, because Jesus doesn’t ask us give up our intellect.

 The entire Church is suffering greatly now because of this man’s sin, and we don’t know how far this persecution will reach.  It is no light matter, and nothing we can simply ‘move on and start a new chapter with’ without deep thought and prayer, and acknowledgement of Truth, no matter how attached to the movement we may have become.

We do know God will be victorious in the end.  My prayer is that we ALL cling to Truth Himself, and stay close to our Holy Mother Church in these times when “even the elect can be deceived.” (ref: Matthew 24:24)

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22 thoughts on “The Elephant in the Living Room: Part 2

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. So much of it seemed like I could’ve written it myself. Often times now (I’ve been out almost a year), I think I have truly ‘moved on,’ only to find another wave of emotions tossing me around. I also still struggle with accepting and even talking about those feelings and that doing so doesn’t make me a failure at being a holy woman. Thank you for talking about your experience. I am sure there are many many women who can relate.

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  2. Thank you for writing ‘Anon’… yes, it is a difficult thing to ‘move on’ from something that we have held so dearly to our hearts… May God bless you… healing will come, and soon you will feel at peace and know that you are a good and holy woman, even if you aren’t in RC!

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  3. Lovely post. But I focus on this: “And then, in 2009, the news of Fr. Maciel’s scandalous behavior, the founder of Regnum Christi, was released to the lay people.”

    Other lay people in the Church knew about Maciel’s behavior way way way before 2009. That RC members did not says more about RC and the Legion than almost any testimony except one of direct abuse.

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  4. “RC had taught me how to look at everything as a positive ‘case study.’ In pretty much everything, we could find Christ. ”
    This is not Catholic theology, which asks us to use judgment and to accept what happens only as the permissive will of God, while we work to change or help it.

    “I was losing gracefulness as life started beating us up, and I started crying out spiritually… I felt abandoned, desolate, on the brink of despair, and I just couldn’t make any of it sound cheerful.”

    Rather, it sounds like you began to react like Christ did.

    ” .. I felt like a real loser, and I felt that it must mean I lacked in holiness.”
    A focus on holiness or lack of it is not the Catholic way to go about the spiritual life. This Legion way is prideful and pelagian.

    “my hubby and I came to the conclusion that we were lacking peace about being members of RC, and that this was a sign that God was calling us elsewhere. ”

    Notice how the discernment for such a thing includes the husband, as it must.

    “We used 2009 as a time of discernment for where God was calling us, or IF He was calling us, into any particular mission within the Church.”

    You have a mission in the Church, that of lay person, which is the front line of evangelization and redemption of the world. The Church exists to form and nourish you for this job. Only the heresy of clericalism things that we need to be organizationally connected with the hierarchy to do our mission.

    “I felt I was sinning if I didn’t practise certain ideals that I was taught. ”

    This is the result of the cult, which instills obsessive compulsive behaviors as a control.

    “Even ‘leaving’ felt like a sin because I had made ‘promises’ … and always had a little doubt in my mind as to whether I had made the right decision, even though I didn’t feel at peace staying in the movement either. I was confused…”

    This is a sign that one has been wrongly formed to have security of conscience only from another, when that security belongs by right to the well-formed Christian.

    “And then, in 2009, the news of Fr. Maciel’s scandalous behavior, the founder of Regnum Christi, was released to the lay people.”

    Correction – to the Regnum Christi lay people. The rest of us knew about it for years.

    “It was the belief in an ideal that sacrificed the intellect;”

    There you have it, the intellect and free will both.

    “holy people that would be responding to Him no matter what movement they are a part of.”

    No need to be part of a movement. Movements capitalize on people’s lack of community, of father, of faith formation. We have it all in the Church, along with the admonition of Christ in the Psalms to “put not your trust in princes…or in the sons of men”

    As for the rest, AMen, Amen.

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  5. Thanks, Shalimamma and may God abundantly bless you.

    That moving on at the expense of the intellect that you describe so well, took place between 2006 and 2009 as well:

    Legion of Christ, May 19, 2006:

    “Facing the accusations made against him, he declared his innocence and, following the example of Jesus Christ, decided not to defend himself in any way…Fr. Maciel….has accepted this [CDF] communique … knowing that it is a new cross that God, the Father of Mercy, has allowed him to suffer and that will obtain many graces for the Legion of Christ and the Regnum Christi Movement”

    Legion of Christ, March 25, 2010:

    “At that time [2006], the CDF reached sufficient MORAL CERTAINTY to impose serious canonical sanctions…Therefore, though it causes us consternation, we have to say [3 years later] that these acts did take place”

    The same false comparisons in 2006 from the leadership. The same push to sacrifice intellect at the altar of ambition. They used those 3 years well to program the strange reaction you saw in 2009.

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  6. This was very interesting to read and seemed full of anguish. It was almost painful for me to read it but I am glad to have done so.

    Thank you for putting this truth out there.

    Prayerfully yours

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  7. This morning on the way to work I was listening to Catholic Answers Live (recorded yesterday.) I think the topic was the book of Revelations (I was only half listening), the discussion about the beast of Revelations made me think of the Antichrist. I realized that due to my experience with RC and MM, I will never be able to trust anything at face value again. If the Antichrist arises during my time, I hope I’ll be able to discern better than I did with this group. When I first started telling my husband (non-RC) about the scandal and what I had learned, his comment was, “MM sounds like the Antichrist.” So maybe this is something we are all suppose to learn from this experience.

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    1. Hi Cindy… I discussed your excellent comment with my hubby this morning… what an excellent point! Yes, I do believe God is forming us in wisdom and prudence to prepare us for ‘what’s next’!! Thank you for pointing this out! Many blessings..

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  8. The serenity of the RC ladies is a normal, healthy response, I should think. They are detached from MM, as they should be. They entrust the past to the mercy of God, and the future to Divine Providence, carrying the burden of today only. They will not be crushed by what does not belong to them.

    After all, the focus of the ladies is on Christ, reinforced by the cycle of their daily devotions. All answers are in the Gospel, the daily Rosary liberates from any preoccupations. And the Encounter group provides that essential support in living the good Catholic life.

    But know that any group made up of human beings is an imperfect one, a sinful one. Only God is God, and we must bear the difficulties imposed upon us by others, the betrayals and disloyalties with courage, fortitude and trust in God. Know also that Christ never takes your freedom, and that if you feel you have ceased to grow in Regnum Christi and that it was only a step in your journey, that that is blessing in itself. God bless you.

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    1. ‘sunnyshadow’… I am so glad you wrote. You have perfectly illustrated what I tried with every fiber of my being to have, this ‘serenity’, the focusing on Christ against all odds, and the ability to believe I can truly be detached from MM and still belong to the order he founded.

      But your message stings, as it did coming from the current general director, and from other RC ladies who told me the same thing. And the reason it stings is that there is compassion missing from this message… And a glossing over of such an obvious wrong and betrayal that I don’t believe comes from the Gospel or charity. I am not saying this about you personally, but about this message, which I have heard many times before. A ‘healthy response’? This would look something like this: ‘oh my goodness, this is awful to find out we have been betrayed. I am so sorry you feel hurt. I myself feel at peace because I believe I can overlook MM’s sins and the secrecy of his protectors… But I totally understand you wanting to leave the group…’. THAT I believe would be a true sister in Christ. When many of us were met with a cold ‘serene’ explanation for such a grave betrayal (in less fancy words: ‘get over it.’), I think that is what showed us billboard-style that something was terribly wrong and… unhealthy.

      You are right, all groups and even the Catholic Church contain sinners. But as far as I know, founding and leading a huge movement requires near sainthood in order to avoid the enemy’s takeover or infiltration. Where in history has any religious order that exists today been founded by a professed child molester? I don’t know of any, and most all ‘founders’ of religious orders I know have been canonized. The point is, yes, of course, any good Christian endures persecution and betrayal… But to FOLLOW an organization set up by the betrayer is a lack of wisdom. There is no way to separate MM from LC/RC because he founded it, until the organization is completely changed, name and all. Tried as I might, I just couldn’t convince myself that I could still call myself a member of RC, focus only on Christ, and not be associated or in some way supporting MM.

      The people in RC (perhaps like yourself) for the most part, are good and are seeking holiness just like I am. The people who were duped are not the problem… It’s the leadership and association with the founder. Nazis will always be Nazis, even if Hitler is dead and Nazis decided to change their work to good and holy motives. There is no way to separate the name Nazi from Hitler… People would have to leave and/or change the name.

      I want to add also that Jesus was greatly grieved over the betrayer, Judas. He wasn’t like ‘oh well, what a bummer.’ It was a BIG DEAL and ended in such tragedy that Christ said it would have been better for him not to have been born. It is healthy to be intensely hurt and anguished (as one commenter to this post wisely put it) by betrayal. It shows you are real, you are human, you are… healthy. I have seen the ravages of people not admitting pain. Look at post abortion syndrom. Some women go 20 or 30 years before letting it ‘get to them’… and then there was a huge grief process, and then they moved to the world of health, both spiritually and mentally.

      I did not need to go through a HUGE and heart-wrenching healing process from leaving RC. It was definitely difficult and at times painful, but I hadn’t invested myself nearly as much as others, so in a way, that protected me from so much grief (even though I had some) and kept me able to look at things in a more balanced way (I believe). I used to joke that I was an RC slacker 😉 But for those who invested their whole lives into the movement, we should have serious compassion for them. I grieve for them, because their pain is or will be greater than mine. And when we try to gloss over the betrayal to them, we are twisting the knife. I really believe compassion and understanding is how those in RC can reach out to those who have left, those who feel hurt and angry.

      You mentioned that you follow the good and holy cycles of the Church… That is awesome and what we all should be doing… It is all contained within the Catholic Church! My question is, why do we need RC in order to be good Catholics? Could it be that we are attached to those relationships or even a job within the movement? I understand the difficulty of leaving if ones life is completely immersed in RC… It is a scary prospect to leave. I had difficulty leaving, too, because I didn’t want to lose the friendships I had formed and the intimacy of the Encounters. But if we CAN’T leave, it means we are attached to something more than Christ. But I do understand, because I am guilty of subscribing to all sorts of things because of attachment (check out my conversion story 😉

      It takes much courage to step away from these attachments. And grace and healing. This is evidenced in people’s feeling that they need to remain anonymous when they are leaving RC, or even long after they left… Or even if they are in it! Why is that? Where is the fear coming from? This isn’t healthy either, and a sign of negative fruit that has unfortunately been passed on from MM and still exists today. For everything else, we tend to use our real name… But for RC? Very interesting… Logically (with ones intellect) we would notice that we only hide our identity for serious reasons, either for fear, or wisdom like to protect us from things like identity theft.

      My name is Shalimar, and I am a Roman Catholic wife and mother. I left RC. I am not afraid to share with you who I am, and secrecy is rarely a good thing. It devastates families, kills people’s faith, kills marriages, and damages the entire Church. I believe in honesty and transparency, and that, my friend, I believe is healthy 😉

      This is not meant to hurt you or anyone… We are both sheep on an equal path of complete dependency on Christ, our Shepherd. We can all be misled. We all HAVE been misled at various times in our lives.

      I thank you for you courage in writing and defending what you hold dear. I pray that you are blessed, and open to the Holy Spirit, and I pray this for myself as well!!!

      Many blessings… Shalimamma

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  9. All that being said, Shalimar, I am confident that the Apostolic Visitation will bring about the needed reforms. Things are in the hands of the Holy Father, and I am seeing changes in the movement in response to the worse criticisms being made of it— your sentiment of having been used is one.

    Everything that you say is true, but the question to me, is how do we move on from there? I have learned a great deal through my membership in this organization. I love the women in my group, the Tri-diums and the Conventions, the spiritual direction and I am not going to let MM’s failings get in the way of the good things. He was only one man, and he betrayed us all, but we have each other, and we have Christ. But I am wary knowing that there is a worm in everything, I have not surrendered, my integration is incomplete. I love my freedom too much to give it up, and the movement, thank goodness, is moving away from obedience and docility.

    I am perfectly satisfied to see the movement as a human effort instead of a charism, and a human effort made by many, many faithful people, including some who made major mistakes in judgment. I also love all of the wonky Mexican aspects of it.

    I am sorry you found that my response stung. It was not my intention to reproach you. I also acknowledge the reality. My response is simply different. I am going to hang in there with my ladies for now, and their imperfect way of coping. I want to be there when the going gets rough just as you did. And that is my choice made in freedom. My hunch is that the Holy Father will open the windows to let in air and sunshine, and what has been crooked will straighten up and stretch towards the Son.

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    1. That is a very beautiful response, ‘rc’, and I thank you for your well articulated thoughts! It sounds as if you are approaching all of this from a healthy and free perspective, which, while that can’t be said for everyone, is good and refreshing, and means that you truly can be a support to the other ladies on your team.

      In answer to your question “how do we move on from here”… and regarding your love for the Tridiums, Conventions, and spiritual direction, I know that all of these things can be found within the Catholic Church itself without RC. They may be harder to find, but there are retreats available, all sorts of conventions around the country, and I have received regular spiritual direction before I joined RC, and after I left, from holy priests… (A sidenote is that I no longer believe it is prudent to receive ‘spiritual direction’ from a lay ‘spiritual guide’ that RC allows, as we should never entrust our very soul to anyone without Holy Orders)

      Because of my hunger for holiness, and seeing so many ‘holiness and reverence voids’ in my local parishes, it caused my hubby and I to seek out a holy priest and parish, and we found it at about the same time we left RC. God provides, and abundantly. Like I mentioned before, it is hard to let go, for fear that those ‘voids’ we think would be so big wouldn’t be filled. But as long as you know you can find beautiful holy friendships, holy retreats, spiritual direction, all the sacraments, and even prayer groups as enriching as Encounter, OUTSIDE of RC, and are freely choosing to stay in RC, then it sounds like you are making a free and rational decision for yourself…

      I do still question all the anonymity, unless you know me personally and are trying to be sensitive and preserve a relationship… however, I have a feeling that if we were true sisters in Christ, we would know each other by name and be able to share… in freedom… our thoughts on RC without jeopardizing a friendship. There are people I love dearly and are extremely close to who are still in RC, and we have been able to talk about it without letting it become a wedge in our friendship. Friendship and sisterhood in Christ is not confined to any spiritual movement (and for me, not even confined to the Catholic Church as I have some wonderful Christian non-Catholic friends)… and if someone feels in any way that we can’t be open and honest about our differences and still be friends, it never really was a good friendship to begin with…

      If I don’t know you, then I want to encourage you to be open about who you are and why you are proud and satisfied to be in RC. Afterall, we should ‘let our light shine before men, that all may see our good deeds…’ Elsewhere in Scriptures… ‘those who do good do their deeds in the light, that they may be seen before all’ and likewise, those who do evil do their deeds in the dark… That is why hiding and secrecy are something that to me is a sign of shame or sin. Modesty within a vocation is one of the few areas where ‘hiding one’s beauty reserved for one’s spouse or the Lord if you have a religious vocation’ is a healthy area of hiding… but it is not out of shame, and everyone still knows our name. But about our faith and spiritual movements, we should go out into all the world and spread the good news 😉 Be proud that you are in RC and that you are a Catholic! We Catholics are being persecuted greatly right now… but we are not ashamed, and we don’t apologize or hide the Truth!

      Many blessings to you… and thank you for letting me be so blunt and honest about my feelings with you (I should have made a disclaimer at the beginning of all this: I am 7 months pregnant, and I tend to be way more blunt when I’m preggo, but sometimes that’s a good thing, or I stay on the surface ;)… you have been gracious in reading my thoughts and responding charitably to them. Anytime you want to talk more about this, I am very open to hearing your thoughts.

      Many blessings,
      shalimamma

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  10. I was never involved with Regnum Christi, but I was involved with the Episcopal Church. Reading this brings back memories of how many of us tried to work out a faithful response to a church that had abandoned us. Some left earlier, some (like us) left later, others stay and try to fight the good fight from within. My heart goes out to all of you. God will honor the faithfulness of His children and rescue His sheep when they stray.

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  11. Its funny (as an Ex RC) to read comments in which the poster speaks of how much she “loves” her sister on her team. I loved some of my RC sisters, and of course I “loved ” them all in the sense that we are called to love. I always prayed for the grace to love the ones who were more difficult to love. I think I “loved” them well.

    I sometimes laugh at the amount of time I spent in RC with women I would otherwise never be friends with. I wish them all well, I am happy to bump into them and say a friendly hello, ask about their families, etc. Obviously, I didn’t leave because of them, but to be honest, It’s quite a relief to be free of all that forced affection.

    I hasten to add, I’m sure they don’t really miss me much either!!

    I hope I can be forgiven for this naughty disclosure. Maybe I’m not alone here?

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  12. Dear Mrs. Grouchy, I think that what you say applies to every religious organization on the planet. Maybe we stop being naughty only in heaven?

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  13. RC
    I respectfully disagree with you that “every religious organization on the planet” views love and friendship the way RC does. Mrs. Grouchy was echoing my own experience with RC, the only “friends” I still consider as friends are the ones who would have been my friends outside the movment anyway. The forced affection and fakeness was too much for me and all based on sizing people up for “recruiting” . There were very good and genuine people there but they eventually became these “integrated” zombies- how can you have a natural affection under those circumstances. I have not found this anywhere else, whether Bible study, or Rosary group or Prayer group. I’m sure there are some- but they too are probably cult-like as well.

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  14. Unsure why some who may not be directly connected with these events still feel such a pull to find how / why things went so wrong !

    It could be the tragic nature of how a father figure who seemed to have been trusted by many was so much in the grip of evil !

    Yet, could all this be too to prepare many for the time when the agent of deception comes in, that instead of hearsays of this and that person being great, we stay with God given channels of authority , starting with the family and that anything that seems to want to break that up can be looked upon with caution !

    Challenge to Godly authority has always been our weakspot and why the prevalence of choosing to destroy life, whose sole authority is God Himself has become so common !

    That and the need to recognise our own littelness and weakness and God’s love for us inspite of same or even esp. because of same – such an awareness too being important in accepting life at its frail stages as all the more precious !

    Looking up the diffrence between remorse and repentance which is mentioned in the good article above , learned something too – how it takes acceptance of our own littleness and loving trust in God’s goodness, for one to be repentant whereas remorse possibly comes from hatred that one chose to do wrong , how could it be since it should have been beyond the greatness of one !

    Seems some of the controversial things / movements in even The Church these days bring on this feeling of being ‘great’ due to what one is doing , not in relation to God and His mercy !

    One could even subtly claim or take in the greatness of God onto oneself , instead of the cross shaped truth that we are great only in His mercy ; this in turn letting one make mistakes with profound implications, all so evident all around us !

    God help us all and let us trust that He loves us all , saint and sinner , little and great and would help us and our beloved Holy Father , who is wished a very blessed birthday !

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  15. Thank you for these posts, and the comments. After a year out of RC, I still feel I have a lot of grieving and processing to do. Reading about others’ experiences definitely helps me to work through my own.

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    1. Welcome, Blair… reading others’ experiences has truly helped me as well and given me so much comfort! It has taken me some time, too… in fact, last night, after two years out of the movement, I still had a ‘poem’ in me that needed to come out about all of this. I just posted it this evening… Many blessings!

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