When The Pain Won’t Let Up…

Back in the day, when I was questioning everything, I turned to music. I started with good ole' fashioned 90's rage metal and alternative "confused and angry but also artist-poet" music that blended poetry of pain into chaotic chords... But I finally settled on Pink Floyd. I remember listening to it for the first time [...]

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Confessions of an Unbeliever

Wait... what? Shalimamma, an unbeliever?! Yeah, that's right. I may as well cut to the chase. I'm a natural-born skeptic, a Thomas (before he became a saint), a question-asker (is that a word?), a challenger to any and all "boxes" people want to assign me to, which seem logical and easy, but equally seem impossible [...]

Newborn in the Lap of God

A few months ago, one of the sweet and beautiful nuns (who used to be a NICU nurse) at Christ the Bridegroom, held my baby Simeon. The nuns love all children... but as Sr. Iliana held Simeon, she said, “This is how we are to be! Like a newborn in the lap of Christ!” I knew [...]

The Baby Who Saved My Life… Part VI “Good Friday, and My Descent Into Hell”

Suddenly, the stalled atmosphere of “random refugee mother trying to be near her newborn” morphed into a flurry of urgent activity.... Hospital bracelets were being strapped onto my arms, I was tattooed with heart monitors and bandaids, had several IV entry points and vial after uncountable vial of blood taken, wires, monitors.... and voices saying [...]

The Baby Who Saved My Life

I have been unable to even begin to write about my pregnancy and birth of my 11th living child for months, until now, as if the depth of my experience was beyond any words or clever ways I could express... I write to you humbly, as a staunch pro-child, pro-life mother who loves to be [...]