Relentless Pursuit… The Conclusion

(To go to the beginning of this series, please click here.)

For a reason which at the time I couldn’t explain, the urge to move to Florida was unbelievable.  It was like every ounce of my being was saying “Get Thee to Florida!!!!!”  It made no sense whatsoever, but I couldn’t ignore that urge.  It was too loud.

I moved back in with my parents for the last three weeks I was in England.  I quit my job, turned down Oxford, and informed my shocked boyfriend of what I was doing.  There was no way to explain this to him.  It had something to do with “God” and “calling”, words which might as well have been Greek.  He, and my other ‘friends,’ were hurt, angry, and thought I was throwing my life away.  In all honesty, I WAS throwing it away… toward what I knew to be true.  There was no logic to it, but I was at peace… I felt free.

The time with my parents was a healing time, and I came back with joy into the church.  This time, however, the choice was mine as to what church I would belong to, and no longer the ‘faith of my parents’, although they had a great deal to do with planting the seeds. I knew that if this God could actually break the chains I had around me, that He actually listened to me, that I could be forgiven and reconciled with Him and the church, then perhaps my true home was in the Catholic Church, even though I might have to give up some of my unhealthy habits.

God had freed me indeed, although I would still have a very long and painful plane ride back to the States, as my soul ripped away from addiction, and a lonely time by myself as I wondered if I would be hired into the mission field… Anyone who has given up an addiction will understand this feeling, this tearing away, this almost unbearable pain.

But in the end, it is always worth it… to be free. Free from addiction, free from enslaving sin, the hope of freedom from eternal death…

Worth it? I couldn’t have imagined how worth it my coming back into ‘the fold’ would be… My healing from sin and addiction would begin immediately after I was hired (yes, I got the job!) in the mission field, where being around the simplicity and child-likeness of disabled adults caused me to quickly regain purity.

And… it was only to be little more than a month later that I would shake hands with a tall handsome man at my mission site.  His name was Corey…

(The Story of My Vocation: A Love Story, coming soon!!)

Thank you for joining me on this journey of my conversion story…

~shalimamma

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6 thoughts on “Relentless Pursuit… The Conclusion

  1. Shalimar, what a powerful story! You are so brave to share it. Now I understand your strength of conviction! I wish I had that passion- I had it once, in high school, but somehow have lost it- still trying to find my way. 🙂

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  2. Thank you so much for following my story! Let me know when you’re ready to share your journey of faith! 😉

    Tabitha, that is very honest of you to say… you CAN have that passion back, if you ask for it… but be ready for a roller coaster of adventure! 🙂

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  3. BEAUTIFUL story, Shalimar! You are a truly incredible person and a very talented authoress! Although I wish I’d read this so much sooner, I’m also very glad I didn’t! Now I won’t have to wait and wonder to read A Love Story! 😀 I think you’ve inspired me to put my story on paper. But I’m also a bit worried. I used to write – one upon a time – and liked some of those pieces. But it’s been a long time and I’m certain my story won’t captivate like yours! 😛 Your writings lift hearts and souls. God bless you. 🙂

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  4. Shalimamma,

    My heart broke for you. Wow. My soul sings for you! again Wow.
    I knew some of these things from talks we’ve had before but the intensity of what you went through speaks to the fire you bear now. Thank you for being so honest… I share a lot of the same story, my time was more brief but I understand. It is truly our experiences that shape us isn’t it? Even the regrettable ones. God uses all things for our good and through these things allows us to lift up others, to walk in their shoes and show them His mercy and Glory. Even now we walk the passion road still…. Dearest Friend my prayers are with you always.

    God Bless You!

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