Relentless Pursuit… Part XI

And so now my parents were gone, the first time ever they had left my siblings and I for any length of time, and right in the middle of the worse family crisis we had had so far…

For me, I may have had a shred of respect left somewhere near the bottom of my heart, but since I was becoming slowly enslaved (unknowingly) to my boyfriend and to drugs, I lost whatever loyalty or respect was left.

There were times when I was ‘calling for help’ in my own pathetic way…  One particular Sunday, I had missed Mass with the family, but still desired to go, at least in the evening, to fulfill my Sunday obligation.  My parents refused to take me.  This rejection hurt me, as I was still searching for why I should stay in the Church and be unified with my family, but they seemed so lost in their own dark situation that they couldn’t see they were driving me away.  I proceeded to go to an outside payphone and call my boyfriend’s family, who came and picked me up and brought me to Mass… the atheists brought me to Mass.  Afterward, I went home with them, and at that point I officially turned my heart away from my family.

And so, when my family left for another country, I had already planned out my time, and was glad they were gone.  I didn’t feel I had much to lose, since I was already 20, and since I knew I would be welcomed in by my boyfriend’s family at any time.

And so not only did I have people over, my boyfriend and I slept in my room (hugely forbidden) and smoked drugs out the window, while my younger siblings were in the house.

Of course, the news of these happenings reached the ears of my parents when they came home, and they came to a decision to kick me out.  They simply would not allow sinful behavior (from their child) in their home, under their roof.

That is one of the darkest nights of my memory, the night they ‘kicked me out’… we met at a truck stop, and it was horrible.  I knew they were doing what they thought was the loving and courageous thing, and it was about time.   But I still knew it was tragic, at least for them.  My boyfriend and his family weren’t compatible with my family anyway.  It was time.

That courageous, and truly loving (TOUGH love) act of my parents would be pivotal in my spiritual life later on, causing me to grow up and figure out who I was on my own.

But at the time, I was happy to be able to immerse myself in more pleasure.

Free at last…

…or so I thought…

…to be continued…

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