Forgiveness Friday: I Forgive You, President Obama
11 May 2012 3 Comments
Dear Mr. President,
I… oh dear, this is much tougher than I imagined it would be. I don’t normally write about political things. But I felt in this case, I simply had to. I envisioned myself writing you a pious letter of how I am praying for you and how much I forgive you for our differences in opinion; and I envisioned having this pious, sweet, reserved, and holy somber look like the ones you see in paintings, complete with a well-posed beautiful hand on my keyboard.
But, I am fed up. Yeah, that’s my real feeling. So maybe I’ll be writing this letter more than once, especially as we approach elections. And for the record, my hands never look like those paintings.
The real question is, am I fed up with you personally? Or your political platform? Or your political actions? Or you, yourself?
What or who am I fed up with?
The truth is, it turns out that this letter isn’t about differences in opinion… republican, democrat, blah, blah blah, blah. I don’t have to forgive people for what political party they are in. I’m not even sure I am IN a political party anymore anyway.
I need to forgive you because I can’t figure out who you are. Or if I have, the result is scary.
Usually leaders, good and bad ones, are pretty clear cut. You know who they are, they have a strong presence, and you know what they stand for. There are many examples. I could list them, but their names are obvious because they made history. You know, religious leaders like Jesus Christ, Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther… Philosophers and Inventors… And even political leaders whose names stick in our heads: Stalin, Hitler, Ronald Reagan, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln…
I am not a history buff, so this is a VERY short list of influencial leaders. Notice I didn’t include Al Gore on there. That’s because I’m still laughing at… er… with him.
And being that you earned (?!) the Nobel Peace Prize I am sure you are much more of an expert in excellent leadership than I am… right? (One can hope…)
I forgot to mention Martin Luther King, Jr. No matter what political party we all belong to, I think we can all agree that he had great influence in America, and around the world. Remember him? You know, he’s the guy that openly preached that every one deserved the right to life and freedom, even those that others deemed ‘less than human’. Hmmmm…. Perhaps if he hadn’t graced our land with his presence, might you have been a slave instead of our president?
Interesting… that Martin Luther King spoke about the right to life and liberty… FOR ALL. I would wager that he was including little unborn black babies. Good thing your mama chose life, right?
So what’s the deal with your confusing stance on life? I’ll start with this most fundamental right, because you seem to be contradicting your own beliefs, and your own heritage (which I am a little shaky on, to be quite honest…) Those mothers who are pregnant must register their ‘unborn child’ when they are touring the White House. Really? But it’s OK if any of those children are killed by abortion? Which is it? Are they alive and human or NOT? Do people have to register their gall stones or tumors?
And America… why, WHY, do you bow to everyone around the world and continually sell us out? Why do you claim to stand for ‘strong families’ but go this way and that way regarding what defines a family? Why do you claim to want to encourage job creation, and yet vow to over-tax those that create jobs as well as the rest of us? Why do you keep challenging and attempting to delete our very Constitution, which made our country GREAT? Amendment #1… ring a bell? Religious liberty? Hello?
Where are you really from? What do you really believe?
All the talk show hosts and authors and bloggers have pointed out volumes and volumes of such contradictions, so I won’t continue to list them, as I would fall extremely short, and a list of your problems is not the purpose of my letter. I want to forgive you. I want to forgive you because I believe you don’t even know your own identity, and are being used by powers-that-be behind the scenes. It’s obvious.
And I feel sorry for you.
You inherited the leadership of an influential country during globally disastrous times. You are perhaps trying your best to please everyone, and there are definitely some LOUD groups out there constantly fighting for your attention and approval. Perhaps you have been seduced by the most intoxicating temptation of all… power. And once a person has power within their grasp, it is unimaginably difficult to continue using it for good. I don’t even know what I would you if I were in your shoes myself.
Which is why I can forgive you.
I forgive you on behalf of all believers in Truth everywhere… that you have put aside principal at the price of human life, millions of human lives. I forgive you because you will have to explain your reasons to our Creator (there’s only one, by the way) for why you have made the choices you have made. I forgive you because I can’t imagine the difficult and alluring position you are in, and that satan is relentless in his seduction of political leaders.
But God is more powerful. Infinitely so. And I pray that you come to know Him (for REAL) while you are still on this earth.
If you can become a man of principal, standing for truth and goodness (and Americanism) despite the immense forces against these things in the name of power and prestige, I don’t care what party you are in, you would have my vote.
But as it stands, a tree is known by its fruit. I forgive you, Mr. President, and I beg God’s mercy upon you.
Sincerely as a true American,
shalimamma
Confessions of Someone Who Has Lost Their UPC Code…
08 May 2012 4 Comments
in A Hard Battle...: Victory Through Struggles
Labels.
Aren’t they nice?
I mean, growing up, I was very familiar with labels. GAP and Guess were two labels that were important in the 80′s, and your jeans needed labels (at least at the prep schools I went to) or you needed to accept your nerdhood.
Well, most of the time I accepted nerdhood, because we couldn’t afford those ‘labels’ unless they were found on the Goodwill rack.
Later as an older kid, after I stopped caring about labels on jeans, I started to realize that people are labelled. “Popular”… “Loser”… “Gorgeous”… “Slow”… ”Geek”… “Fat”… “Skinny”… “Athletic”… “Smart”… “Last picked for the basketball team while the coach doesn’t care about your humilition” (OK, can you tell I experienced that last one?) … and countless others. It doesn’t take long for kids to realize their so-called label. Schools make it obvious, and so does the world.
In elementary school, I was labelled “Skinny, Smart, Geek, Blind, and Poor.” Later in high school, I was labelled “Outgoing, (still poor), Hangs out with Boys Too Often, Friendly, Pro-life Freak, and… Still Poor” (Private schools were pretty relentless with the whole poor thing.)
After high school, in my young adult life, people labelled me “Single, Catholic, Outgoing, Still hanging out with too many Boys, Wild, Passionate, Pro-life”… and then “Fallen Away Catholic, Very Wild, Druggie, Party Animal, Wealthy, Popular, Still hanging out with too many boys 
, Lost, Conflicted…” and then “Missionary, Charismatic Catholic, Finally calmed down on the boy thing (whew!), Seeking to be married (aka dated a lot), Outgoing, Funny, Anxious…”
Fast forward to recently. I have had many labels… If you asked normal society folks, my labels might be “Wife, Catholic Freak, Pro-life Freak, Farmer Freak, Mother-of-too-many-children Freak…” OK, I think the world thinks I’m a Freak.
But what about those in my community, those that love me? A few years ago, I had some comfortable labels that I cherished. “Wife, Mother, Business Owner, Home Schooler, Traditional Catholic, Social, Happy, Passionate, Successful, Healthy…”
For quite a few years, I liked my labels. I liked saying “Yes, I am a homeschooling mom of a bazillion happy kids, I am a faithful traditional Catholic who ‘does all my prayer commitments’, I am financially successful for a GOOD reason of course (to be generous), and my marriage is just peachy.”
But, lo and behold, those comfortable labels were stripped away, and certainly not with my permission.
I realized we had problems at home with a son who has Aspergers Syndrome (mild autism), lots of littles so that I had trouble educating my older ones or even just spending time with them, chaos and sloppiness, depression, a marriage that was strained for an unnamed reason at the time, a faith crisis, financial difficulties that seem to poke at many of us relentlessly… friends who disappeared drastically and for no (logical) reason.
My labels changed, quickly: I was now a “Half home schooler half normal charter school mom, a Catholic/Christian who was no longer part of a traditional Latin community (for a still unnamed reason) but still Catholic, the wife of a corporate employee while we both have entrepreneurial visions, a dairy farmer who makes goat milk soap …” Nothing really squeaky clean or clear about any of that…
And all of a sudden, I felt lost and confused as to WHO I AM. It was a horrible, embarrassing feeling. I felt like I needed to make excuses, to prove myself, to explain everything… Because I felt like I just didn’t impress anyone anymore… Because I thought I was defined by my labels.
But I am not.
And neither are you.
“Who do people say that I am?”
My answer, for myself, is… “Who cares?”
I have been blessed lately with beautiful, and I mean BEAUTIFUL women that have emerged in my life who have taken on the role of sisters and mentors to me. And I keep hearing this message: You are loved because of WHO YOU ARE, AS A PERSON, without any so-called labels. This is truth.
This is not relativism. There is truth and there are lies. There is good and there is bad… but as people, we are loved. Even when we mess up. Even when we are confused or ill in mind or body. Even when people we respect don’t approve of us, or even worse, don’t love us back.
The fact is: God loves me, and you, no matter what. That can be a torturous thought, because we want to prove something somehow, that we are worthy. But as a beautiful friend pointed out to me yesterday, pretty much all we can work on is being less unworthy, because we are unworthy of His love anyway.
So your kids go to a school? That’s the best you can do? Good for you! Maybe you are like me and deeply desire to protect them from this hostile world where there isn’t that much good education in truth. But it’s the best you can do. And who knows, maybe God is ordaining this decision. Maybe He has a plan, even though it is not your ideal. (Or maybe it is your ideal )
Maybe you are like me and are letting your spouse lead, out of love. But he chooses something that isn’t your first preference. Good for you. You are showing your children what real marriage looks like, and real love. No, it’s not so peachy, but it’s love nonetheless.
Your kids can be out of hand sometimes? A little on the wild side? You don’t have enough money and are struggling because your spouse can’t find a job? You go to this church or that church? You wear a veil? You don’t? You eat organic? You don’t? Don’t worry about what ‘those other people’ are saying about you. Yeah, they have labels for you. They have them for me, too.
But last I checked, I have only one code, and it doesn’t make the laser beep at Walmart.
Because it’s in my heart. And God’s label is all that matters.
We were created in His image and likeness. And we are beautiful and loved.
Love,
shalimamma
A Special Invitation…
30 Apr 2012 1 Comment
in Little Toes and Big Tummies: All Things Baby
Hi there! Would you like to help save babies as teenie and cute as the one above? It’s easy!!
We want to invite you to join us at one of the most fun events of the year that our family loves to attend: the Walk for Life! It’s June 2nd at Memorial Park, and we hope to see you there!
Please visit our web page to find out more:
http://www.ministrysync.com/event/website/?m=990339#0
I guarantee, it’s a blast, and a good excuse to come out and get cotton candy and snow cones for the kids, and at the same time know that you are making a positive impact for LIFE!
We’ll have a table there… please come find us! We’ll be the table with a million kids running around it… and we’ll have our soap to raise money for life (more about that later!
Love,
shalimamma
My Broken Fiat… Faithfulness When Things Aren’t So “Squeaky Clean”
28 Apr 2012 1 Comment
in A Hard Battle...: Victory Through Struggles, Victory Stories from YOU!
It’s not every day that I stumble upon another blogger or author who shares a similar outlook on life that I do. I’m one of those people who is slightly crazy enough to air out my dirty laundry amidst millions of blogs where people have taken photography courses, have a gourmet well-balanced dinner in the oven, have successfully and joyfully homeschooled 17 children (who are clean and wearing new pressed clothes), have an immaculate house, have balanced the budget, kissed their honey as he walks in the door, said three rosaries, and are sipping a nice relaxing cup of tea before writing a blog post.
Me? When I (get to) write a blog post, I steal into my room when there is a pause in the chaos and no one is threatening to fight (for 5 minutes), dinner may be late, a kid may be missing clothes altogether (and the word “pressed” isn’t spoken in this house, mind you), and if I do take a picture, everything around the picture would shock you, but somehow I managed to adjust the “brightness” setting on my software so you don’t notice the mess in the background (or the unwiped spaghetti sauce on a little one’s face.)
Or I write the post at 3 in the morning while nursing because I can’t sleep anyway.
Anyway, I love when I stumble upon people who are REAL… not depressing, everything-is-horrible-and-there-is-no-hope type of people… but also not the everything-is-perfect type of person either… mainly because: neither of those sentiments are grounded in truth. There are good days and bad days. But not all are good, and not all are bad. And I guess since we are all going through this cycle called “Life After the Fall”, why not admit it? Who are we trying to kid, anyway?
So today, I was blessed to stumble upon a blogger I hadn’t heard of before… Her recent posting called “My Darkest Secret” earned her traffic she wasn’t expecting. What I like about it was that it is not squeaky clean. It is not one of those picture-perfect Catholic or Christian situations where both spouses are quoting scriptures on their way to the Family Christian Book Store with their two well-behaved children and Labrador dog in the back of the Suburban (complete with a Jesus fish symbol on the back of the vehicle.) It is also not overly negative or in the least bit insulting to anyone.
It’s just real.
Sometimes, people’s real ’story’ makes other people squirm. They would rather see something comfortable and non-messy.
But that’s the problem with our society. We want to hide the messiness. We want to hide abortion, women in trouble, marriages in trouble (even good ones), women supressed in other countries (in religious situations that we are supposed to be ‘tolerant’ of), dirty neighborhoods, people who are trying but not living out the ‘perfect’ model of faith and charity… and more than anything, we want to hide our own imperfections. We would rather be glazed-eyed on a website that is, well, perfect…
Sometimes I like to look at the ‘ideal’ so I can strive for being better… but I don’t stare too long at it, because then I become discontent and ungrateful with my own blessings. A “life victorious”, to me, is about victory through the nitty-gritty of life, where there are bleach stains on our favorite shirt, we feel confused, having a faith crisis, and we are hurting, or, we are joyful and we are joking around…
I would like to thank Gina at MyBrokenFiat for sharing her very real struggle, which she is faithfully enduring, and I am hoping we can all join together and pray for her… she is praying for us, too, and I can tell even through cyberspace that she is a woman of faith, beauty, and a seeker of truth! (I love how God works… )
Love,
Shalimamma
“Surprised by Joy (Impatient as the Wind)”
26 Apr 2012 3 Comments
in Little Toes and Big Tummies: All Things Baby, Victory Stories from YOU!
I borrow this title from C.S. Lewis because it seems to sum up my life to this point. Let me share…
In the summer of 2010, after my first mission trip to Colombia, I went home to my husband and our little cottage in Montville, NJ which was costing us a fortune and re-entered the hamster wheel of my work life only to realize that we were setting ourselves up for a life of struggle, stress, ill health and childlessness. So many people know that they are in a rut but are unwilling or sometimes unable to give their lives a complete overhaul. My amazing husband Stephen and I sat down and thought about what we needed to do to change our circumstances. We knew that in order to be able to have a family and raise and educate them well, we would have to live on one salary – his – so that I would not have to be a co-breadwinner. We immediately thought of a few places where we could go so that this would be possible. Although I was born in Long Island and had lived nearly all my life in New Jersey, we ruled out moving further toward South Jersey or into Pennsylvania because a full time income would still be required of me in both of those places. The best option seemed to be West Coast Florida, an area that we knew a little bit because my in-laws had had a vacation home there for the last several years and we had visited as often as we could. Stephen would continue to do his job from home, as he did in NJ, and visit the office which is based in Miami, so we were able to make this work. In January of 2011, we packed up our furniture, clothes, and 2 cats and headed to Tampa Bay in a U-haul truck.
We had tried for a year to get pregnant in NJ to no avail (hello, stress!), and we had been enjoying our new Florida life for about 3 1/2 months. So when the 2 blue lines showed up in our hotel room while on a subsequent visit to Colombia in June 2011, I thought, woohoo!! and immediately told our friends there and called my mom. I still wasn’t going to blast it out on Facebook…yet. The first ultrasound showed not 1, but 2 embryonic sacs and since we (especially Stephen) had been praying for twins since the beginning of our marriage, we were both elated. We saw one heartbeat flutter and that was our cue to begin telling family and friends – the rate of miscarriage decreases to about 5% after the heartbeat is detected, so we thought we were in the clear. However, the next doctor visit brought the bad news. After a consultation in the office about the second trimester and pre-registering the birth, a perfectly healthy physical and normal bloodwork, came the ultrasound…and the realization that one of the twins had vanished early, and the other, tiny heartbeat was dead. My own soul sank. The little immobile, jellybean-sized fetus was my family. Gone. And what was worse, there was no medical reason for it. I am fine, my hormone levels were high and there was no reason to expect, like my mom before me, that I would have any difficulty carrying a healthy baby. The amiable, thorough doctors shrugged their shoulders like casual observers of God at work, unable to give me an explanation or consolation.
Then I realized I could either be bitter about it as I watched more of my close friends give birth to beautiful, healthy little ones – trust me, the flesh is weak and I’ve been bitter and resentful in my heart – or recognize that there was a reason for this that was beyond my understanding. Every response that we make to the circumstances we face is a choice. So I try to choose hope, over and over again. I also choose life and encourage others to do the same. I was raised Roman Catholic and had always been somewhat pro-life, but now I was really serious (please, girls, have an ultrasound. It will change your perspective).
However (here comes the “impatient” part…), I am not used to feeling like I am in life’s waiting room. I maintain that it was a good move for me to leave my NJ life behind, the supposed security of a 9-5 job and make the leap of faith into running my own business from home full time – which in NJ had been a very lucrative side-job. I’ve always worked in high gear, so I’m not used to sitting tight for an indefinite amount of time while word-of-mouth spreads in a new area of the country. I also thought I’d be a mom by now, but my little ones were wiped out so…that hasn’t worked either. Maybe I will be someday, maybe God has other plans… but in the meantime, I wait on Him to use me. I’m here and I’m available. And I’m waiting to be surprised. :)
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Soaps, Goats, and Candles, Oh My!
21 Apr 2012 6 Comments
in Adventures at Victory Ranch
My website (www.VictoryRanchOnline.com or www.VictoryRanchSoaps.com) has needed to be updated for a LONG time… I was embarrassed when people went to it and asked me about animals we no longer own, and soaps whose mold shapes we didn’t even have anymore because I melted them in the dishwasher (aka learning curve!)… as a natural sales person, this makes me cringe!
But alas, so much has gone on in life that I had to choose between, well a MILLION things, before taking a deep breath and attempting a little HTML code. Plus, since I am in the middle of an accounting certification, my right brain (which is much more dominant) was feeling like it was going to explode… so updating a website? I was afraid of pushing myself over the edge and purchasing thick-rimmed glasses and giving in to Star Trek DVDs.
But then hubby, in an amazing act of kindness and mercy, took ALL the kids (except for the baby) OUT of the house for a few hours. Whoa. It was quiet. Very quiet. So quiet in fact, that the echoes of people leaving messages on my voicemail about products we don’t have got louder in my conscience and I simply had to respond.
So I updated the website. And actually, I had fun. Uh oh… Somebody stop me if I get TOO left brained and start talking about code or numbers. Please change the subject to parties, jewelry, shoes, or art. I MUST keep my personality intact
So without further ado: Please check out www.VictoryRanchSoaps.com!!
We are encouraged because our business is growing, so I’m rolling with it… We have some awesome friends that want to be part of the team, and soap requests pouring in, so I am feeling the momentum growing!
And when it REALLY takes off, we can hire a REAL web designer to write code.
Love,
shalimamma
Forgiveness Friday: I Forgive You, Fr. Maciel, Thoughts by Jack
20 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
I wanted to share with you a beautiful comment that I was honored to receive from a former LC priest. His thoughts on mercy and forgiveness as a way to healing are profound:
I found both of your open letters of forgiveness (Maciel and to your girlfriends) quite moving. The spirit in which they are written reminds me of a powerful documentary I saw on PBX “The Power of Forgiveness.” Your letters provide another tangible example of the role forgiveness can play in alleviating anger and grief and the physical, mental and spiritual benefits that come with it.
Like you, and so many others, I spent a long time involved with the work of Fr. Maciel. Forgiveness does not come easy but I think it is what Christ would want of us. The Easter season is a fitting time to remember this. Perhaps forgiveness is the road to true “reconciliation” and the balm that so many suffering souls need to place the LC/RC in their true context. In another post, you mentioned something about your “friends” being loyal to the institution and not to each other on a personal level. That was exactly my experience as an LC priest for 20 years. I suspect that those who remain in the organization will be more moved to change by an attitude of reconciliation, based on forgiveness, that they will be generalized criticism (however valid.) Some people would say that gratitude, kindness and generosity are relevant to our ability to truly forgive others. These “emotional” qualities were missing, on an interpersonal level in our “formation.” Deep down, as you suggest, we were driven by loyalty to the Movement. I hope that in this Easter season, both members and leaders of the movement may be moved to delve deeper into the interpersonal consequences of the Passion and Resurrection. If they do, I think they can produce believable change. Loyalty to the Movement and the Church is not enough.
Forgiving somebody does not, in any way, excuse the hurt that was done to us. It is our decision to let go of “retribution” and to allow God to begin to heal. When we let go of the hurt, God can start to redeem it and bring good from it. Thank you for your writing!
Thank you, Jack, for your courage and willingness to write on this blog… Since I left Regnum Christi, I hadn’t talked with another LC priest, so there was a tiny void in my forgiveness process that I didn’t know existed until you commented here… Your words have reassured me that there are other REAL people who have been affected by similar situations, and that they are healed (or healing) and rational, including from the LC and RC. Your words mean much to me, as even on the internet, you write as a real person and not as an entity (or ‘the Borg’ in my nerdy Star Trek way of putting it ). You have been an instrument of further healing for me, and I thank you… May God bless you abundantly, Jack.
Yours in Christ,
shalimamma
shalimamma
Hiland Rose
Melissa M Brown
